Your neighbors are idiots and here's why.

I have discovered that the Arizona Department of Transportation has an online archive of all vanity plates that currently exist or have been applied for.  The site states that "this service is intended to give customers ideas for possible plate selections by viewing what others have requested."  It also shows us what complete jerkfaces live and walk among us.

A sampling-

420MAMI

V1C1OUS

and my vaginal favorite, H00HA.

Take deep breaths before clicking...

https://servicearizona.com/webapp/vehicle/plates/startChoice.do

JET97

In English: Jet 97

A quick google search tells us that Jet 97 might be an engine, a boat and the year it was produced,  or a crappy DJ with a MyFace page.  All make no sense and are inexcusable.  

XRSIZE

In English:  Exercise

Did Jazzercise earn you the cash to buy this heinous plate?  Do you think that seeing your plate will encourage me to work out?  I hope you get fat.

Wanna share?

This is my boyfriend. He is a good sport. [Edit: I married him 7/10.]

Here are some tips for getting good shots of vanity license plates.

1) Don't snap pics while driving. (Optional. I don't follow this one.)

2) If there's lots of people around, have a good sport stand in the foreground, zoom onto the plate in the background, say "smile!" and snap a picture of the offending plate.

3) Get a picture with your camera phone while pretending you are trying to find a signal.

4) Some license plates are reflective which make getting a picture in the dark difficult. Your flash reflects too brightly to see the ridiculous non-words. I do not yet have a tip for avoiding this (in the dark.)

Good luck!

EYELUVU

In English:  I Love You

It shouldn't hurt to be a child, but it also shouldn't hurt to read.  Is this nimrod an eye doctor?  A children's eye doctor?  The mind boggles.

MRS HERM

In English: Mrs. Herm

It's hard to tell in this picture, but there is a small dot after the s, avoiding any potential confrontation with people who want MR SHERM on their license plate.

------------

Folks!  You just read your first guest post!  That's right, you too can submit pictures you have taken.  Yes, there are photos on the interwebs of awful plates, but isn't it more fun to capture the monstrosity yourself?  It is.  Trust me.

BADBYTE

In English:  Bad Byte

Bad taste.  This was caught with about 5 or 6 other doozys in one, yes, ONE parking lot in Scottsdale.  I mean, really.  Bad byte?  Like this guy started the Geek Squad or something and sold it to Best Buy and now has enough money to buy a vanity plate?  I just want to shake this guy... hard.

U UV A

In English: U of A

This plate was spotted in Tucson, AZ, home of The University of Arizona also known as U of A.  Now, I did not graduate from UA but know a good many people who either have or are going to.  I am pretty sure they all can spell 'of'.  UA is home to the Ansel Adams photography archives, the Phoenix Mars Lander, and a killer Epidemiology program and I feel confident that every student, professor and staff member is horrified that a peer would write something so unintelligent on the ass of their car.

FIREOUT

In English:  GOLD STAR FOR FIREOUT!!  They managed to use words found in dictionaries.

I'm guessing, as I'm sure you are, gentle reader, that this person is a firefighter or fire detecter installer.  Cops, firefighters, paramedics, etc. all dig people knowing what they do for a living.  (It's a fact.  I've done research.)   If you want to brag, but the blue star symbol-thing decal on your car. 

BABYLOV

In English: Baby Love

Diana Ross couldn't get away with this horrific plate.  You and I both know that this lady is a biznitch.  It oozes from her plate.  Bleck.

SPAMGRL

In English: Spam Girl, Spa Manager L. (not as funny so we won't be addressing this suggestion)

The food?  The email junkmail?  Grrl or Girl?  We'll never know.

(Confession... if it's the food and a present from Spamgrl's college roommate who endured 4 years of spamwiches, then it's funny.  But ONLY if it's a gift.)

MINIUPS

In English:  Mini UPS?  Mini Ups?

Another case of driving and snapping, and at night, no less.  I sure hope this is the guy who invented UPS's kid and not the kiddie version of Up With People's bus.  OR could it be a play on the (truly embarrassing) phrase 'Big Ups' as in "Big ups for deciding not to waste your money on a vanity plate, Carl.  I knew you could resist the urge!"  Really dumb plate, any way you spin it.

GNARRLY

In English: Gnarly

Note the mild fuzziness of this photograph and know that I took this while operating my own vehicle.  This makes me almost as stupid as a vanity license owner.  Almost.

SCTRSAL

In English:  UNCLEAR

Theories include 'Scooter Sal' or 'Scooters All'.  Both are stupid.  [EDIT- 'Scat Resale' has also been suggested.  I love the idea that this BMW owner made their fortune in dung.]

Food for thought: If your vanity license plate is difficult to decipher, maybe it REALLY shouldn't exist.  Conclusion:  Scooter Sal is an IDT.

LUVSSUN

In English:  Loves Sun

Yes, this terrible plate kicks it up a notch by being on a yellow VW bug.  We can hope they get a ticket, not only for their awful taste, but because their plate holder covers the word "Arizona."  Cross you fingers with me.

B KPR

In English:  Bee Keeper

This person has a legitimate mental health excuse for buying a vanity plate.  He or she keeps bees.

3QRTBAD

In English:  Three Quarter Bad

I felt this had to be Plate Shame's first post because although we often joke about starting a blog for terrible vanity license plates (Discussion Question: Are there any other kind?) this was the one that broke the camel's back.  

Hello.  We are here to share.