SMRTR

In English: Smarter, smart car

Dear Jane Personalized,

We know you're trying. Really hard. You bought your cute little yellow smart car, which helps identify you as a forward-thinking person worried about the environment. That's fantastic. You also have a license plate pledging your support for breast cancer research. Highly commendable. And also, we realize that apparently if you buy a Smart Car, you sign a contract pledging to get a personalized license plate referencing the fact you bought a Smart Car. There are no winners in this situation, we know. But with that said, never, we repeat, never, go the easy route when you are getting a personalized plate with the word "smart" on it. Because doing so, and misspelling said word, either to indicated that you are "smarter" than someone else or that you have a "smart car" but don't have room for the c, a, or other a, might reflect poorly on you in the end. You might not appear smart or smarter. You might appear SMRT.

Cordially,
Plate Shame, esquire

BAD PUN

In English:Bad pun

Plate Shame is stumped by this one, folks. We're going to go the high road and say that the person here is making fun of other people with personalized plates, but they still paid money to have this plate made. After some deliberation, we've decided that personlized plate purchase + ironic personalizing, still = lame.

TONTO5

In English: Tonto 5

Here it is once again, folks: another occurrence of someone picking an unoriginal plate, then adding a number to make theirs "different." Unless your family name is Tonto and you're the fifth son, god forbid, come up with something a little more clever, kemosabe.

LIBRAWL

In English: Liberal, librawl

There has been much debate in Plate Shame circles about this plate, one some have dubbed "acceptable". Regardless of your position on the political kaleidoscope, we can all agree that the person with this plate wouldn't shy away from the WAR in welfare or the ACTION in affirmative action. Courtesy of Dorian C-M.

N2TH8R

In English: Into theater

Plate Shame has noticed a disturbing trend of thespians announcing love for their craft on license plates. Combined with the "I'm a musician" license plate guard (holder? frame?), this packs quite an artistic wallop. If there were only some way to get LIK2DRA or ICNPNT on their somewhere as well...

Add Plate Shame on Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Plate-Shame/108207084991?ref=nf

Now you can impress your 15-year-old Geometry students with who you know on a social networking site. Post and comment on funny plates you find in your hometown.

Plate Shame loves golf!

If you're from a cold part of the country, or one that has less disposable income, you probably don't understand some people's fascination with golf. We at Plate Shame live in Arizona, land of the 1,000-acre golf courses despite the fact it never rains here, and we still don't understand. Nonetheless, we feel it is our duty to highlight those who do.



TGRWNAB

In English: Tiger Wannabe

Assuming the owner of this car isn't on a mission to cover themselves with orange and black stripes and chase wild boar through the jungle, we should applaud him/her for understanding their position on golf's totem pole. Don't worry, you'll get there some day. Go get 'em, umm...puma? meerkat?



OUT2GLF

In English: Out to golf

The owner of this car/plate isn't afraid to let people know how he rolls. Slowly, down miraculously green pastures inhabited by stooped over old men who lease cars instead of buying them and make up 99.5 % of the Salisbury Steak market. (I have had one from time to time, folks). He parks his car next to the Hyundai Elantra with the LUV2WRK plate, no doubt.

KECH UM

In English: Catch them

It doesn't take a larger photo to guess that this license plate belongs to a man with a large pick-up truck. What exactly it is he wants to catch is the big question, but odds are it has antlers or a "Change" sticker on the bumper of its car.

BO JAY

In English:  BO   JAY

****Guest Post from Greggie B, professional photojournalist****

What? Was BLO JAY already taken?

****End Guest Post*******

Greg has been a reluctant but prolific plate collector.  In fact, his most recent email had the subject line, "I wish I knew how to quit you."  We know you're hooked, pal!  Lie back and enjoy it.

420 BUY

In English: 420 buy

If I needed to buy some weed, and there was a parking lot full of cars to choose from, I would have tried this battered old van first, with or without the license plate. — From Jessica S.

4GODS(HAND)S

In English: In God's Hands

He might have the whole world in them, but he might let you slip through his fingers... accidently, of course.

LVRLORD

In English: Love Our Lord

Plate Shame is never opposed to blatant shows of faith, but this one comes from the 'ILOVTOFU' book of plates that can easily be read as something else - in this case, "Lover Lord" - in a bid to bring more people to God. Now we don't doubt the romantic skills of this driver, but perhaps he should think before he personalizes.

HRVRD61

In English: Harvard '61

Your six-figure income and diploma on the wall doesn't tell people seeing you drive down the street what they need to know? Then put it on your license plate! Unfortunately, we don't have the patience to go through that year's graduate list.

BEEMSTR

(From Greggy-B)

In English: Beemster, Bee Mister, Bee Master

We'll assume that this plate is referring to the fact that the car is a BMW, also known as a BEAMER. Unfortunately for our apiologist friend here, BEAMER must have already been taken. Second-choice tags - always a no-no.

ZMCAT

In English: Zoom Cat

Oh, yet another spirit-filled Arizona student who thinks it's clever to attach some word to Cat and make a license plate. This only happened after ZOOMCAT and ZOMCAT and maybe BADCAT were taken, unfortunately. Go team!

THSPIAN

In English: Thespian

There is something vaguely odd about someone who gives their life to theater driving a gigantic SUV. Even worse is indicating their interest in their craft on the license plate of said SUV.

NTRPRIZE

In English: Enterprise

Apologies for the grainy photo. This is either a Star Trek fan or someone who feels creative thinking can fuel discovery and success. On the second count, they definitely fail.

OXOX

In English: Ox Ox. Hug, kiss, hug, hug kiss.

Unless this is a Mongolian herdsman, NO ONE should have this as their license plate. OX OX? What does that say about you, jerk? And if it's XOXO backwards, it's even worse.

XONKED

In English: Zonked

Plate Shame is beginning to think that we need a separate label for people who obviously input their plate idea, have it rejected as it's already being used, then choose another, lamer spelling. For those who don't know, Xonked is Zonked taken to the X-TREME!

MOMMI D

In English: Mommy D, Mommy Dearest (if we're being creative)

Oh, it's another of Plate Shame's favorites: The purposeful misspelling. Glad to see she was able to outwit the DOT in her quest to get her personality on the back of her car. "MOMMY D with a Y already taken? I'll show them!"

GETDUCK

In English: Get duck

Another fan of the fowls and another bad usage of the "Get (INSERT WORD HERE)" phenomenon. How about this: GETALIF.

CANARY 1

In English: Canary One

Either this guy really loves his bird, or it's in reference to his yellow Porsche Carrera. Either way you look at it, it's nothing to Tweet home about.

DAHILLS

In English: Da Hills

In Proper English:  The Hills

My friend, Kylie, and I were driving north and she spotted this guy in the lane next to us.  She proclaimed the owner was a "Douche Nozzle."  I couldn't agree more.

ARMCORP

In English: Army Corps or Army Corporal

Betcha this guy's a recruiter who thinks his plate is super-cool.  He is almost as wrong as Bush was when he thought Iraq had WMDs.

BRUNO25

In English: Bruno 25

In honor of Bruno 25 I'm creating a new category called "What's the point?"  

NATIGRL

In English:  Nati Girl

I went to the interwebs for this one and she's either a member of the Nebraska Association for Translators and Interpreters, helping gamblers at The North American Training Institute or from Cincinnati, OH.  I'm sure it's nice town filled with lovely people with dumb plates. 

YEAAA

In English:  Yea or Ye Triple A

Nooo!  The only way this plate is acceptable is if they added 4 DK... but someone already did that.

JFAST

In English: J Fast

This photo was taken as I chased J Fast down the street.  He was going over the speed limit, but you probably guessed that from reading his super-awesome plate.  I was going over the speed limit too, but I am on a mission from God.

BABA HU

In English: Baba Hu.

I briefly considered that this could be a mildly illiterate attempt at Baby Huey, but that would really be a stretch. At any rate, it still doesn't make sense. It does have a kind of Polynesian feel to it for me, which is something, anyway.

YEA 4 DK

In English:  Yea for Dick OR Yea for Decay OR Yea for Donkey Kong OR Yea for Don King OR Yea for Donna Karan

I vote for Dick.

--------------------------------------

Thank you to Nikki for submitting this amazing plate!

BUFLO3

In English: Buffalo Three

This is the perfect example of the license plate rule- 

"There is no reason to get a vanity plate, but if you do, it should immediately decipherable and understandable."

They own three buffalos?  Maybe this guy produced the Nenah Cherry song 'Buffalo Stance' and this mini van is the third car he's been able to buy off the royalties?  Your guess is as good as mine.

GOGOOFY

In English:  Go Goofy

I've almost run out of words to describe these people.  I don't think calling them goofy, goofballs or goofs do justice to their crimes.

NONSTR8

In English: Non Straight 

You'll have to trust me on this one.

Before this post goes any further, I need to self identify as a card carrying gay rights activist.  Big time.  Love, love, love, support the gays.  That being said- get a rainbow sticker and donate your $50 plate fee to Wingspan!

OMNRVNA

In English: Om Nirvana

Gee, I feel like there are so many things wrong with this plate it's hard to know where to start.  I've actually had it since the very beginning of this here blog and it's had me stumped.  It was one of four or five plates we found in a single Scottsdale parking lot (EYELUVU and BADBYTE were it's neighbors.)  

Let's just ask this simple question- If you are so into Buddhism and being at peace with the universe, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah, what in holy hell made you think a personalized license plate would be the right way to spread the word??  My guess is this moron reached enlightenment by going to yoga class at Gold's Gym.  My other guess is that NIRVANA was taken by a superfan of the band and this plate's owner had to scramble to come up with an acceptable alternative, hence the added OM.  

Missy's Religious Tip of the Day:  Buddha doesn't give a rat's ass about personalized plates.

PICCOLA

In English:  Piccolo, Pick Cola

Misspelling Piccolo (Italian definition: Small) on the back of your Smartcar is legitimate jackass territory.  I hope this car belongs to the Shasta soda pop heirs.

DUFFY 6

In English: Duffy 6

It's probably not so clear in the picture, but next to the license plate is a logo for some company - Duffy Construction, I believe - so we can only assume this is one of a fleet of trucks for that construction company. But will we let that be a valid excuse? Of course not. If you have your company logo on your truck, it's not necessary to double it on your license plate too. I might keep my driver's license in my wallet, but I have yet to have "Jeremiah's Wallet" embossed on the wallet which is holding it.

A classic case of vanity plate confusion

From the Aurora Sentinel:

DMV cites vanity profanity in tofu plate proposal

AURORA | Apparently the “tofu queen” is riding shotgun on the banned list with the “sofa king.”
Centennial resident Kelley Coffman-Lee said she wanted to express her love of tofu on vanity plates by letting drivers know “I-LV-TOFU.”
But instead the Colorado Department of Revenue read Coffman-Lee’s request as “I-LV-TO-F-U.”
“If I really wanted it to say that, I would have had the number two,” she said.

To read more, go here.

Y RUN 4

In English: Why run for.

This is one of those personalized plates that probably only makes sense to the person who bought it (and their mom, maybe). I'm not sure whether they are endorsing running or asking why people run. Since it was attached to a Honda CR-V, I can only assume they're sporty. Is that wrong of me? At any rate, the only thing worse than a personalized plate is one that doesn't make sense gramatically or otherwise.

Your neighbors are idiots and here's why.

I have discovered that the Arizona Department of Transportation has an online archive of all vanity plates that currently exist or have been applied for.  The site states that "this service is intended to give customers ideas for possible plate selections by viewing what others have requested."  It also shows us what complete jerkfaces live and walk among us.

A sampling-

420MAMI

V1C1OUS

and my vaginal favorite, H00HA.

Take deep breaths before clicking...

https://servicearizona.com/webapp/vehicle/plates/startChoice.do

JET97

In English: Jet 97

A quick google search tells us that Jet 97 might be an engine, a boat and the year it was produced,  or a crappy DJ with a MyFace page.  All make no sense and are inexcusable.  

XRSIZE

In English:  Exercise

Did Jazzercise earn you the cash to buy this heinous plate?  Do you think that seeing your plate will encourage me to work out?  I hope you get fat.

Wanna share?

This is my boyfriend. He is a good sport. [Edit: I married him 7/10.]

Here are some tips for getting good shots of vanity license plates.

1) Don't snap pics while driving. (Optional. I don't follow this one.)

2) If there's lots of people around, have a good sport stand in the foreground, zoom onto the plate in the background, say "smile!" and snap a picture of the offending plate.

3) Get a picture with your camera phone while pretending you are trying to find a signal.

4) Some license plates are reflective which make getting a picture in the dark difficult. Your flash reflects too brightly to see the ridiculous non-words. I do not yet have a tip for avoiding this (in the dark.)

Good luck!

EYELUVU

In English:  I Love You

It shouldn't hurt to be a child, but it also shouldn't hurt to read.  Is this nimrod an eye doctor?  A children's eye doctor?  The mind boggles.

MRS HERM

In English: Mrs. Herm

It's hard to tell in this picture, but there is a small dot after the s, avoiding any potential confrontation with people who want MR SHERM on their license plate.

------------

Folks!  You just read your first guest post!  That's right, you too can submit pictures you have taken.  Yes, there are photos on the interwebs of awful plates, but isn't it more fun to capture the monstrosity yourself?  It is.  Trust me.

BADBYTE

In English:  Bad Byte

Bad taste.  This was caught with about 5 or 6 other doozys in one, yes, ONE parking lot in Scottsdale.  I mean, really.  Bad byte?  Like this guy started the Geek Squad or something and sold it to Best Buy and now has enough money to buy a vanity plate?  I just want to shake this guy... hard.

U UV A

In English: U of A

This plate was spotted in Tucson, AZ, home of The University of Arizona also known as U of A.  Now, I did not graduate from UA but know a good many people who either have or are going to.  I am pretty sure they all can spell 'of'.  UA is home to the Ansel Adams photography archives, the Phoenix Mars Lander, and a killer Epidemiology program and I feel confident that every student, professor and staff member is horrified that a peer would write something so unintelligent on the ass of their car.

FIREOUT

In English:  GOLD STAR FOR FIREOUT!!  They managed to use words found in dictionaries.

I'm guessing, as I'm sure you are, gentle reader, that this person is a firefighter or fire detecter installer.  Cops, firefighters, paramedics, etc. all dig people knowing what they do for a living.  (It's a fact.  I've done research.)   If you want to brag, but the blue star symbol-thing decal on your car. 

BABYLOV

In English: Baby Love

Diana Ross couldn't get away with this horrific plate.  You and I both know that this lady is a biznitch.  It oozes from her plate.  Bleck.

SPAMGRL

In English: Spam Girl, Spa Manager L. (not as funny so we won't be addressing this suggestion)

The food?  The email junkmail?  Grrl or Girl?  We'll never know.

(Confession... if it's the food and a present from Spamgrl's college roommate who endured 4 years of spamwiches, then it's funny.  But ONLY if it's a gift.)

MINIUPS

In English:  Mini UPS?  Mini Ups?

Another case of driving and snapping, and at night, no less.  I sure hope this is the guy who invented UPS's kid and not the kiddie version of Up With People's bus.  OR could it be a play on the (truly embarrassing) phrase 'Big Ups' as in "Big ups for deciding not to waste your money on a vanity plate, Carl.  I knew you could resist the urge!"  Really dumb plate, any way you spin it.

GNARRLY

In English: Gnarly

Note the mild fuzziness of this photograph and know that I took this while operating my own vehicle.  This makes me almost as stupid as a vanity license owner.  Almost.

SCTRSAL

In English:  UNCLEAR

Theories include 'Scooter Sal' or 'Scooters All'.  Both are stupid.  [EDIT- 'Scat Resale' has also been suggested.  I love the idea that this BMW owner made their fortune in dung.]

Food for thought: If your vanity license plate is difficult to decipher, maybe it REALLY shouldn't exist.  Conclusion:  Scooter Sal is an IDT.